I'm not good at sadness

I get it we have loads of emotions and it’s relatively healthy to feel them all. I’m interested to know how you handle sadness.

I’m great with anger but sadness totally freaks me out. I can’t fix it. I can’t solve it. It fucking lingers and sticks like toffee.

Recently a friend passed over and left behind a child. We weren’t overly close however over the years I have championed her journey with cancer. The last month of her life I messaged her daily with a photo of a sunset, or anything encouraging as I knew she was clinging to the earth for her child in a great state of pain.

One of the last messages I received from her was that she had been given 3 weeks to live. She never replied to my last message.

I told her… That she had left generations of a strong life force, that will carry the love she had poured into her child. I told her I would see her on the other side, and that I loved her.

I searched all her posts and messages over the years and one post she recently did just months before her death I chose to carry.

She begged women to love their bodies. She said I see you all as so beautiful and so many women hate on their bodies for weight etc… She begged us to embrace the beauty of life. I figured if she offered her valuable time to write such a post in this painful time in her life when her body was taking her greatest gift away, her role as a mother. I will do my best to acknowledge the gift of life my body continues to give me.

My friend would laugh and dance and grab every inch of beauty possible. Today friend, let that love flow into you. You deserve it.

Being with people as they pass over and losing loved ones has grown my passion for helping those on their end-of-life journey. End of life doulas are some of the kindest and most compassionate people, assisting in every way and providing support. We have midwives, doctors, and support people in place to bring a life into the world and I strongly believe people deserve that same support during the end-of-life journey as well. 

It is because of this belief that Rob’s Miracle Made boxes continue to be shared with those in palliative care. A carefully considered parcel designed to be there for someone on this journey. These care packages include a fluffy blanket, a soft pillow (that’s not wrapped in plastic as all hospital pillows are), a luxurious Miracle Made Hand Cream, Glory Lips, Turkish delight chocolate (Rob’s favourite) and a heartfelt note of love and validation as they prepare to leave our earth.  

I still don’t know what to do with this sadness. X